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Joke of the Day
"What do fat people call the runs? The walks"
Next Joke
"I'm living in a rough neighbourhood... Some thug tore the front and back pages of my dictionary out! It just goes from Bad to Worse"
"Gf: Remember that night we had unprotected sex Me: Yeah Gf: I'm having twins Me suspiciously: We only did it once why's there two babies"
"Yesterday was kinda boring, I pretty much just hung around in my underwear all day... ...got kicked out of quite a few businesses though."
"Why do french tanks have rear view mirrors? To see the battle."
"Not Wally, Not Wally, Not Wally, Not Wally, Not Wally,Not Wally... *from the Where's Wally Audiobook*"
"My father was known for running marathons He never came back from the Boston one though But I knew that he'd say it was bomb I'm glad he went out with a bang"
"If it talks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then you gotta ask yourself Why the fuck is there a duck in my room?"
"As a funeral director, I always tie the shoe laces together of the deceased.The zombie apocalypse will be hilarious."
"*camera pans to a pair of sneakers hanging over a power line* *Sean Connery takes a long drag of his cigarette* ""It was a... shoeishide"""