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Joke of the Day

"2nd Rule of Parent Club: If your kid suddenly says ""I think I'd better wash my hands"", don't question them. I repeat, DO NOT QUESTION THEM."

"What do you call one of Santa's helpers? A subordinate clause"

"I've always been a dog person, but I have never had a close friend that was a cat person. I just find that cats taste too gamy."

"""Sir, the good news is that your colon looks great. Maybe even the best I've ever seen. The bad news is that I'm just a hobo with a hobby."""

"Cashier: Your total is $2,334.00. Me: Can you take off the avocado? Cashier: Okay, that will be $2.00."

"why do people do drugs for fun like have you ever tried mac n cheese"

"I have feelings for you. Please take them and leave."

"Girl, did you take a massage therapy course at a community college with questionable credentials? Because you're rubbing me the wrong way."

"I'm in Detroit with $80 in my wallet. Trying to decide if I should treat myself to a nice dinner or buy a house."

"Why can't the blonde get her drivers license? Everytime the car stops, she wants to jump in the backseat."