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Joke of the Day

"(nsfw)A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk and says, ""I hope the porn is disabled."" The guy at the desk replies, ""It's just regular porn you sick fuck."""

"What is the most sensitive part of a man's body while he is masturbating? His ears."

"What did she say while cleaning herself after sex? Well, that's a load off my shoulder"

"[Bookstore] Me: *hands over Tangled coloring book* Cashier: How old is your daughter? Me: [sweating nervously] Of course it is"

"You were a still born baby.. Mother didn't want you but you were still born."

"Really discouraging that there's still bald people in sci fi movies."

"Women need to learn that ""most of my friends are guys"" just means you have a list of dudes who are trying to bone you."

"Exactly how many good deeds do you have to commit to get into Heaven? I'm talking bare minimum here."

"Long ago I got my first job as a circumciser. The pay was not much but I collected a lot of tips."

"What did the band director say to the misbehaving kid? You're in treble mister!"