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Joke of the Day

"Women need to learn that ""most of my friends are guys"" just means you have a list of dudes who are trying to bone you."

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"Whats the name of the band with the most hits? the hitlers!"
"Before. b-e-f-o-r-e, not B4. We speak English, Not bingo..."
"my shower curtain grabbing my thigh while I was washing my hair is the most action I've gotten in a long time."
"Where is this joke from. I heard he's so tough/,badass that he killed 2 guys with 1 bullet... no gun."
"Why go to a public pool when strangers on Craigslist will pee on you for free"
"chinese name joke what do you call a drunk chinese schoolgirl? sum yung fun."
"What's the worst thing to read in Braille? Don't touch this."
"So they say 71 percent of tweets go unread. But I bet you all are reading this one. Cause this one's got Velociraptors. And they're awesome."
"My kids outgoing voice mail message says,,"" I'm sorry I won't come to the phone right now. It's 2012. LEARN TO TEXT."""