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Joke of the Day
"I can control what you do next in life. Made you click."
Next Joke
"One-percenters and Jimmy Swaggart One-percenters' relationship with politicians is like Jimmy Swaggart's with prostitutes. They pay lots of money to see other people get fucked."
"Top 4 horrified face expressions: 4. dragged away by crocodile 3. stabbed by serial killer 2. mauled by bear 1. no toilet paper"
"TIL why Conservatives don't use birth control. Boys don't get pregnant."
"Reminder to all Americans: Remember to set your clock back by 75 years today."
"Q: How do you get a blonde off of your knees? A: Come."
"My wife and I are screaming at each other from different toilets while our sons shoot each other with bb guns"
"Migrants are no longer welcome in the Greek island of Lesbos... as some people munched up the red carpet."
"Before you reply to a tweet, take a deep breath. Now hold it. Hold it... Hold it.... Hold it... Keep holding it... Die."
"Hot single dads in your area AREN'T WORKING 60 HOURS A WEEK FOR YOU TO AIR CONDITION THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD SHUT THE GODDAMN DOOR."