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Joke of the Day

"Why did the egg get a ticket from a lady police officer? Because he was picking up good vibrations."

"A quote from the Father of Invention. Hi Invention, I'm Dad."

"There was an old woman walking her dog A man came up to her and said that's an ugly pig. The woman replied ""Sir, that's not a pig."" The man said ""I was talking to the dog!"""

"My friend got caught having a wank in the showers on a school trip It completely ruined our visit to Auschwitz"

"I bought my son a pet snake and the salesman said ""Be careful those snakes grow up to 20 feet"" I said ""Shut up...snakes don't grow feet!!!!"""

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I don't usually fuck a sandwich before I eat it."

"I don't understand how a priest can be out of shape... They're always exorcising."

"Ill never try suicide again! Last time I almost killed myself"

"Show someone you hate them by buying them an Edible Arrangement."

"I met a girl who said she orgasmed every time she sneezed I asked her what she took for that. She said usually pollen or ragweed"