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Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone you want to be stepped on by? A crush crush"

"I'm really worried about this Harry Potter kid. Seems like he's definitely gonna die."

"The date had been magic. We moved to her couch & kissed. That's when horror struck as my eyes locked on the Duck Dynasty DVDs on her shelf."

"Literally nothing has had less of an impact towards changing my life than that inspirational quote you posted on social media."

"Hoping there hasn't been one in a while, but blonde joke thread. How do you drown a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door"

"Me: Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your family! Dishonor on your house! Olive Garden server: Please stop! I'll bring more cheese to grate!"

"What sort of aircraft does the Asian pilot who loves to greet people fly? A herrocopter"

"What's the difference between ""ooo"" and ""ahhhh""? About 3 inches."

"No recovering from getting your arm stuck in a Pringles can on a first date."

"How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate food before it was cool"