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Joke of the Day

"How many? How many elephants can you fit into a Matterbooboo? ""What's a Matterbooboo?"" Nothing Yogi."

"Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up."

"I hear that strong instruments are best at the inner city. You always hear the news say, inner city violins this... inner city violins that."

"What Do You Call a Jewish Pokemon Trainer? answer: ash"

"Ab Muscles: You're having ANOTHER cookie? Brain: Yep! Ab Muscles: You're just never planning on seeing us again? Brain: Nope!"

"Let me make this simple, I want to be invited but I don't want to go."

"My one true love cooks for me, cleans for me, has never talked back, does what I tell her to do, I can have my way with her any time I want, and she ALWAYS satisfies me. But enough about my hand."

"I just met someone who was a steam-roller operator. He was such a flatterer."

"How can a cat walk with no feet? He can't, it's impawsible."

"""i'm really more of a dog person."" -- werewolf"