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Joke of the Day

"My inspiration for jokes is like a guy at a brothel... It comes and goes... It also occasionally sucks ;)"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Adair ! Adair who ? Adair once but I'm bald now !"

"If you leave your iphone unattended I will tell Siri to kill you in your sleep."

"My local supermarket is selling Star Wars-themed cereal... They really are trying to milk the franchise for all its worth."

"Accidentally poured myself a glass of vodka at 9am. Accidentally drank it too. I'm so fcuking clumsy."

"My boss turned round this morning and called me a ""bullshitter."" I'm not too worried about it though he didn't really."

"Q: How do elephants smell? A: Really bad."

"Geek Booty Call... Fan Fiction You're totally fan-fic worthy. I think someone's about to make an appearance in Kirk's quarters next chapter."

"Who did the pirate lose his virginity to? His first mate."

"Of course I believe you are God's gift to women. He gave us periods and painful childbirth. Why not you too?"