82560

Joke of the Day

"Officer, I know I was speeding, but you have to let me go. I'm running late to a concert and I'm the guy who brings the giant beach ball."

"What gym equipment does Jesus use? A cross trainer."

"[Walks up to stranger] Me: ""Excuse me, would you take my picture?"" Him: ""Sure."" Me: ""Great!"" [I hand him a beautiful 5x7 portrait of me]"

"I was walking down the road.. I was walking down the road and saw a beautiful woman, A spark flew off between us. We had passionate, amazing sex. Amazing what tasers can do these days."

"Q: How many bears would Bear Grylls grill, if Bear Grylls could grill bears? A: As many bears as Bear Grylls' grill can bear."

"What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale!"

"""I know, right?!!"" Is the WRONG thing to say when my neighbor tells me that his wife is wild in bed. Lesson learned."

"What do you call it when someone starts telling a joke"

"have i ever told you your smile reminds me of a song? black and yellow"

"4: *hops in my lap* Mama, look at my picture! Me: Love it 4: See green M: Yep 4: And blue M: Mmhm 4: And red M: *flushes toilet* ok, hop up."