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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale!"

"Q: What Biblical and Renaissance characters does Hillary most resemble? A: Jezebel and Lucretia Borgia."

"If I spray a mosquito with mosquito repellant... Will he be so filled with self loathing that he commits suicide?"

"How many tweekers does it take to change a light bulb? Depends on which method you try...."

"Nobody thought Robin Williams was capable of killing himself that way... In fact, he was knot capable."

"PARENTS: if you have an ugly child, please don't post 8 million pictures of them online. Thank you."

"If it weren't for twitter I wouldn't know what it feels like to go unnoticed. Just kidding, I'm married. I know exactly how that feels."

"How do you troll someone? Make them wipe their screen because they think text is a smudge."

"How can you tell when a politician is lying? When their lips move"

"When Montell Jordan introduces you to his friends, but your name sounds like a title to one of his songs... ""This is Howie Dewitt!"""