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Joke of the Day

"Hey baby..are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids in you"

"What's Justin Bieber's favorite make of car? Voltz-swaggin. I thought of this myself and I am so, so sorry."

"Even scarier than seeing a shark fin in the water is seeing a lion mane, because you know the chase isn't over once you reach land."

"I really like chicken ""So, you really like cocks?"" ""No, but your mom does."" ""I'm sorry but she's not a hen..."""

"What do you give to an owl who is not being himself? A Bowl (B-Owl)"

"Why did Trump call for a ban on all llamas entering the US? because he isllamaphobic"

"I can fake my way through most conversations with my kids if I just look up from my phone every time they stop talking and say ""no."""

"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Unless he's a vegan then I'm pretty sure you can just get there through his pu$$y."

"The word 'phonetically' doesn't even start with an f. Shit like this is why aliens fly straight past us."

"Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they're getting insulted or complimented daily."