33360

Joke of the Day

"What does Santa and his elves listen to in their Christmas workshop? WRAP MUSIC!"

"I accidentally sent a dick pic to everyone in my address book. Not only was I embarrassed it cost me more than $50 in stamps."

"How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb? 1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'"

"[cat shelter] Me: so u don't test for it but u say none of them have it? Owner: we've never come across a cat with martial arts training, no"

"I was addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around."

"Did you hear about the Finn who spent a fortune building a storm cellar in case there was an earthquake."

"Saw a teen couple buying condoms in the pharmacy so I let my grandbaby run around their feet & whispered 'that's the brand my daughter used'"

"Today at work, at my desk, my boss offered me a handjob... It's okay though, I'm self employed."

"How do you stop an Italian from talking? Cut their hands off."

"Her: Put your finger on it! Me: Like this? Her: Oh yeah, I can finish now! -Making the perfect bow"