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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a hippo that swears? A hippopottymouth"

"Why is Reddit the best place for freedom of speech? [removed]"

"Did you hear the joke about the sewing machine? It'll leave you in stitches!"

"I recently attempted the world record for masturbation. I nearly pulled it off"

"Why did the banana go to the doctor? He wasn't peeling very well. Credit to my four year old niece."

"Dear guy lighting bottle rocket fuses with a cigarette that's still in your mouth, You're going as a pirate for Halloween."

"What do the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? They both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons."

"I wasn't so sure about having a mustache... ...but it's growing on me."

"How do you make 3 pounds of fat attractive? Put a nipple on it."

"This girl said ""she didn't know how I would take it..."" So I figured if anything I'd just give it back."