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Joke of the Day

"What do the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? They both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons."

"I bought my retarded son a Komodo dragon, but for safety reasons we keep him in his cage. Away from the Komodo dragon."

"A met a girl with 12 nipples Sounds weird. Dozen tit?"

"TIL A new study shows that women drivers often turn into good drivers So if you're a good driver, look out for women drivers."

"Q: What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies? - A: Should we walk home or take a dog?"

"Sometimes my memory is not quite as good as my forgettery."

"My dad on cheese Me talking to my sister: Me: don't you think you'll get constipated with all that cheese Dad: I don't think she'll give a shit"

"(NSFW) What did cinderella do when she got to the ball? Gagged."

"Scientists say you're more likely to die of what your grandparents died of rather than your parents If anyone sees any German snipers let me know"

"A woman was arrested when her boyfriend's body was found in a freezer in their living room. Who the hell puts a freezer in the living room?"