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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the joke about the sewing machine? It'll leave you in stitches!"

"[roulette] ME: [slaps table] 50 on red CROUPIER: Sir that is 50 pictures of Celine Dion ME: Yes and if I win [grabs him] you owe me 50 more"

"I don't understand why people say ""Oh it's just walking distance away"" Everything is walking distance if you have the time."

"So my buddy thought it'd be a good idea to get an inspirational tattoo on his forehead... Boy, was his face read."

"Been at this farmer's market for 20 minutes. Haven't seen a single beard. About to FREAK OUT & start throwing these organic soaps"

"Mugger: ""Hand over your stuff! No funny business!"" *I give him my wallet and phone but not my business proposal to open a clown college*"

"Abraham: look here son, i got windows 98! Isaac: but dad, we don't have enough memory? Abraham:Have faith, God will provide the RAM."

"A guy tells his friend a long sleeping joke, which his friend hates. ""That was a bed joke,"" said his listening friend."

"What do get when you mix two breads? A hy-bread"

"How did I get from Afghanistan to Iraq? Iran."