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Joke of the Day

"Perhaps the greatest fashion revolution was moving the pads from the shoulder to the bras"

"Jesus loves you. A wonderful thing to hear in church. A terrible thing to hear in jail."

"Interview with Hitler When asked whether or not he would repeat the Holocaust again. Hitler replied.... Fuhrer sure!!!!"

"What's the difference between a women's track team and a bunch of African pygmies? The African pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts. The women's track team are a bunch of running cunts."

"Martin Shkreli has been arrested. Bail will be set, then quickly raised to an amount he can't possible afford."

"I went to bed last night and my brother came out of the closet and scared the shit out of me, I forgot we were playing hide and seek..."

"*playing poker* *my opponent smirks* ""All in."" he says. *pair of aces* *I smile* *throws down a pair of Olsen twins* ""Full House."""

"I hope death is a woman... That way it will never come for me."

"Your mama so fat that NASA thought they found a new planet Dad stop it."

"If you're Russian when you go into the bathroom, and Finnish when you come out; what are you while in the bathroom? European"