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Joke of the Day

"I hope death is a woman... That way it will never come for me."

"""Pay attention to me, but not too much. Ignore me, but make me feel wanted. Let me know you want me, but don't be clingy.""-women"

"I got a ticket for bandaging a cat's broken tail A cop pulled up and gave me a ticket for retailing pussy in a residential area"

"Is your refrigerator running? Because if so I would vote for it."

"I hope this new health care bill also includes every American's right to a lollipop after leaving the doctor."

"I used to be a big fan of Michael J Fox... ...but his latest performances have been a little shaky."

"When they buried the man who invented Tetris the whole cemetry disappeared."

"When does a joke become a dad joke? When it forgets to use a condom"

"Why did u eat it??? A lady was pregnant. Her son asked her ""Mom, What's in u'r tummy?"" Mom answered ""Its a sweet, lovely baby."" Son says, ""If the baby is so sweet and lovely then WHY DID U EAT IT???"""

"What does an Italian have when one arm is shorter than the other? A speech impediment."