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Joke of the Day

"FUN FACT: If every human on Earth was laid out end to end... ...there would be no one left to measure how far it went. &nbsp; ^^credit ^^to ^^@meganamram ^^on ^^Twitter"

"Why did the man angrily throw out his alarm clock this morning? Because it reminded him of Jonathan Clock the man who raped his wife the night before."

"I'm getting married! Well, I have a new boyfriend! Okay, I have a date for tomorrow night! FINE. Shoe salesman said ""Come back soon""."

"I thought I had a Twitter Crush but his wife thought otherwise"

"A friend asked me to tell him where 'Muscat' is I thought about it for a while and said ""Oh man!"". He said ""Yeah man"", I replied ""That's Sana'a"". I'm really confused now."

"The secret to juggling chainsaws is making sure people don't see your lips move when you make the chainsaw sounds."

"What's the difference between Polio and 9/11? The government actually wanted to stop Polio."

"Why are A's like flowers? Because B's go after them!"

"I'm a spitting image of Ryan Gosling. Like if Ryan Gosling were to spit and look at his reflection in it, that would be me."

"What Is The Best Boxing A Mexican Does? A: Oranges."