81863

Joke of the Day

"Best jokes come from real life. This happened this morning. The toilet is clogged. My wife and I both insist we've only gone #1. One of us is full of crap and the other one is full of crap."

"A woman asked me if I had a cigarette. ""Yes..."" I said, ""But what about your baby?"" She said, ""Oh no. He doesn't smoke."""

"Her: ""Do you wear boxers?"" Me: ""What kind of sick person would wear dogs, anyway?"""

"I avoid cheating on my spouse by not getting married."

"Math problem: Q: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? A: Diabetes. John has diabetes."

"Ready for the only way to enjoy Instagram? Follow zero people. Follow every dog."

"MEL GIBSON: HE'LL ONLY HIT YOU IF YOU FUCKING DESERVE IT. THAT'S THE MEL GIBSON PROMISE."

"If OP was a Pizza Delivery Driver, how much would he make? Nothing because OP never delivers."

"How many reposts does it take to change a subreddit? More than we have now. This sub is still shit."

"What is up with these reposts? It must be heredditory."