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Joke of the Day

"How many reposts does it take to change a subreddit? More than we have now. This sub is still shit."

"What kind of flooring does a Mexican fit? Underlay! Underlay!"

"I just switched my phone to airplane mode and a small child appeared and started kicking me in the back."

"I lost my virginity to a retard last night... I wanted my first time to be special."

"Are you an elixir? Because you made my PP go up."

"If a rabbit does not get any food for a week... ...he can swallow a whole python. If a rabbit does not get any food or sex for a week, the python will wish he were swallowed first."

"Deez nuts hah goteem"

"What would a porno be like? Lots of clicking and snapping?"

"Why is the sky not happy on clear days? It has the blues"

"The forest animals are about to rip me apart but suddenly they back off. Hillary Clinton emerges from the trees. The animals bow their heads"