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Joke of the Day

"I once accidentally sent a dick pic to everyone in my address book. It was embarrassing and cost a fortune in stamps."

"Who is the best Native American to have around when you have a cold? The Hanky chief (Yes this is all my own work, I thank you) [No I am not a dad]"

"I got sick from a fist bump it's the first confirmed case of ebrola"

"So...Donald Trump was on The View today. I kept rewinding it and watching it trying to spot Elizabeth Hasselbeck's boner."

"Hiding my rewards card in the bushes by my coffee shop so I don't have to keep freakin' remembering to bring it"

"Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine? A: ""Daaaddy I want to go to Miaaami!"""

"That awkward moment when you go for a run and your boobs start to bounce up and down.......and you're a guy."

"Hooters finally hired me but I have to wear a smock to cover up my weird nipples"

"I just ate some pasta... ...and it was worth every Penne. ^(My god, that must be the worst joke I've ever written.)"

"Funny that when a guy sleeps with tons of girls, he's called a stud... But when a girl does the same she's called a lesbian."