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Joke of the Day

"Breaking News: Scientists clone a new hybrid cantalope and cauliflower. ""We call it the melon-cauli,"" says Dr. Noah Lot of OMG I'm so sorry"

"One nice thing about your 30s is people talk less about figuring themselves out and more about where the best sandwiches are."

"""We were trapped in the elevator and had to make a terrible decision"" Which was? ""We ate Bill"" OMG. How long were you in there? ""4 minutes"""

"I love it when you call me Medium Poppa! Throw your hands in the air if you's a moderately attractive single lady with no kids or debt!"

"Sorry ISIS but we already have a religious state that nobody likes and is full of people that hate modern thinking: it's called Kansas."

"What do mermaids wear to math class? An algae-bra!"

"Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles."

"What's the hardest part about dumping a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it."

"You don't need a parachute to go skydiving: **However**, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice"

"Why couldn't the candle get any sleep? Because there's no rest for the wicked."