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Joke of the Day

"I love it when you call me Medium Poppa! Throw your hands in the air if you's a moderately attractive single lady with no kids or debt!"

"Just found a scary-looking Pokemon on my living room sofa. But then I realised it was my mother-in-law."

"What did the Peruvian defense lawyer say to the Peruvian prosecutor? Peruve it!"

"If Mitt Romney was president, we'd blame everything on him. ""Damn why is it so cold outside? It wasn't this cold when Obama was president."""

"How do you make a venetian blind? Poke his eyes out Credits go to my 90 year old grandfather, currently completing his PhD"

"A garage sale is actually a Garbage sale but the ""b"" is silent."

"Is your refrigerator running? Because I just might vote for it."

"""Don't dip your pen in company ink."" - HR training seminar explaining why I shouldn't sleep with the receptionist...I think."

"What has 4 eyes and cannot see? Mississippi."

"Did you know lesbians almost never cook for themselves? They prefer eating out."