31743

Joke of the Day

"when I have dinner with a vegetarian I order two steaks to use as a bun for my third steak"

"How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents."

"A dude goes to the doctor , the doctor says ""sir you have to stop masturbaiting "" the patient asks why? The doctor goes ""cause i'm trying to examine you"""

"What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk."

"""Don't stop bereaving.""..............Karaoke singer at a Philipino funeral.."

"What's the difference between Lance Armstrong and Adolf Hitler? Hitler can't finish a race"

"""Any two-watt bulbs?"" ""For what?"" ""That'll do. I'll take two."" ""Two what?"" ""I thought you didn't have any."" ""Any what?"" ""Yes, please."""

"My dream is to be a security guard on Maury. I'd whisper ""you look like a Volkswagen Beetle with eyes."" When the women were crying backstage"

"You know how bullies stick a kid's head in the toilet & flush? We need to give Bieber credit for turning that into a look."

"Why didn't the shepard cut off his sheep's wool? Shear laziness."