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Joke of the Day

"What did Ray Charles say when they handed him a cheese grater? This is the most violent thing I've ever read."

"A man walks into a bar carrying a small pig. ""Where the hell did you get?"" the barkeep asks. ""I won it, playing cards"", says the pig."

"At willcall for a concert, I start a conversation with the lady in front of me. It was the first time I had used a pick up line to talk to a woman."

"Getting old sucks. I walked into the bathroom and forgot what I went in there for. And then I shit my pants."

"I like to think of myself as a humble man. Actually, I just like to think of myself."

"Maths joke: if you have a pizza with radius z and thickness a, it's volume is pizza (or pi*z*z*a)"

"What do you call a depressed clementine on a late night walk? A meanderin' orange."

"I just got invited to a Game of Thrones themed wedding I think those bastards are going try to kill everyone"

"I was asked a million dollar question today ""Is that your car that just crashed into my lamborghini ??"""

"Why did the blonde keep coat hangers under her seat? In case she locks her keys in her car."