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Joke of the Day

"Checking my lotto numbers makes me forget everything I know about probability, and gives me a temporary belief in the power of prayer."

"I believe in ten years, gifts for newly born baby would be a SIM card and a cell phone."

"Two condoms are walking down the street when they pass a gay bar... One turns to the other and asks, ""Hey man, wanna go get shit faced?"""

"""I'M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN!"" Brain: LOL Empty bottles: LOL Wine shop owner: LOL New bottle: LOL Bottle opener: LOL Liver: LOL Me: LOL"

"I wanted to stop for McDonald's this morning but the line was too wide."

"Thanks god my wife die. hhhhhhhhh"

"I exercise at the gym because I can't exercise restraint when it comes to everything that's bad for me."

"At what age do you have THE talk with your daughter about how she is not the princess of anything and she'll need to get a job. Is it 6?"

"Interestingly enough, you can get STDs from a toilet seat... But only if you sit down before the other guy gets off. Source: QI"

"What does Salvador Dali eat for breakfast? Milk and Surreal."