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Joke of the Day

"having sex for pleasure Apart from humans, the only creature that has sex for pleasure is the dolphin. I had to shag a lot of animals to find that out."

"What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust..."

"Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Bonus: Knock knock. Who's there? Not the little girl... EDIT: Pardon the crappy delivery, english isn't my fist language. ;)"

"Have you ever tried eating a clock? It is very time consuming"

"What does Light Yagami drink at the bar? Tekira!"

"What did the Arab land his 747? The tarmac, you racist."

"Nice try ""Marco Rubio"" or should I say... [rearranges letters] ""BIRAC UBOMA"" [audience gasps]"

"Teaching your kids to question everything is important. Until you're sitting there banging your head on the table."

"I called my boss this morning... Me: Sorry, I'm not going to make it in today, I'm sick. Boss: How sick are you? Me: Well, I'm in bed with my mother."

"My boss told me ""Dress for the job you want, not the job you have"" Am now sat in a disciplinary meeting wearing my Batman costume"