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Joke of the Day

"I had five hundred Kit Kats in my fridge and my mate had one in his. I pressured him into giving his to a homeless person. That's basically how celebrity charity appeals work."

Next Joke
 
"[Dark Humor] Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? You take your shoes off before you step on a trampoline [Probally heard this but it's worth a shot]"
"Why did neither Hillary nor Trump win the election? Jill Stein"
"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I dont know what hes laced them with but i have been tripping all day."
"My English teacher got really angry about the format of my essay. It wasn't justified."
"Women can be sexist too It's just that men are better at it like everything else."
"Mistakes married men make: 1. Doing things. 2. Not doing things. 3. Thinking about doing things. 4. Not thinking about doing things."
"The Philippines is the only country in the world who turns its flag upside down during times of war while French people remove the red and blue colour"
"ATTENTION : All position for stupid people in my life ,have been filled ,no more applicants need apply. Thank You !"
"6yo: I wish I was a bird so I could poop on peoples heads. 7yo: why do you need to be a bird? my 7yo is ready for twitter."