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Joke of the Day

"Why did Olly call the manager for help, outside the store? For the watch.."

"playing too much GTA. starting to see traffic as ""options."""

"So Putin and Erdogan walk into a bar. Sorry, a war."

"What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam."

"Did you know, If you get everyone in the UK to lie head to toe in a line across the English channel... ...They would probably drown"

"one of the last times I got really mad was in a parking lot when a single clown got out of an enormous van"

"Hey, little bird! Maybe you wouldn't have to move your head around so much looking for threats if you didn't make so much god damn noise!"

"Joint Facebook accounts are the couples sitting on the same side of the booth of the internet."

"Now that Fall is here, do you think all the teenage girls with duck-faces will fly South for the winter?"

"Pizza is my second favourite thing to eat in bed... First favourite is cake."