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Joke of the Day

"-Babe, I can't find the condom, what if we don't use it? -Sure, I'm ready to be a mother anyways. -No, no. Look, I found it!"

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"Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job? Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic."
"Today a girl kissed me I just wish that I could post this in another subreddit :("
"an owl mistook my man bun for a sleeping hamster again today"
"(business meeting) *drops pen on the floor* *bends over to pick it up* *shirt comes untucked* *all the jelly beans start falling out*"
"What's John Cena's favourite part of the sunset? The CENAry"
"For a guy that could change water into wine, I'm surprised Jesus only got hammered once."
"What do you call a group of blind German kids? Not-sees"
"What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A bad golfer goes *whack* ""damn"" and a bad skydiver goes ""damn"" *whack*"
"A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking."