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Joke of the Day
"If you can't love the one you want, love someone who looks like them and just squint a lot."
Next Joke
"Wife: ""Too bad my tits aren't keyboards, maybe they'd get some attention!"" Me: ""Your tits are fine, its your bitch personality"""
"What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles!"
"What goes oh oh oh? Santa walking backwards."
"REPORTER: *asks question* POLITICIAN: that's a great question and thank you for asking it *answers a different question*"
"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Just follow the Fresh Prints!"
"It's ironic that Pistorius will wake up this morning and there really will be a burglar using his toilet."
"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph, because he's too short to be an Essay."
"My neighbor just walked by carrying some pots for planting & I said ""Looks like you won the pottery lottery!"" Now everyone is mad at me."
"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I've never paid to have a garbanzo bean on my face."