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Joke of the Day

"Wife: ""Too bad my tits aren't keyboards, maybe they'd get some attention!"" Me: ""Your tits are fine, its your bitch personality"""

"Our FedEx guy keeps delivering diapers & formula but I didn't order any. And he cries when he holds the baby. Weird, huh?"

"rumours - Moishe, when you're not at home, the neighbors are spreading rumors about you! - Oh, when I'm not at home, let them even beat me!"

"What did NaCl go to prison for? A-salt"

"I'd tell a joke about Jonestown, But the punch line is too long..."

"I should run for public office just to see the scandalous dirt they dig up on me. I would really like to piece together my twenties."

"""What did you do?"" ""Genocide. You?"" ""I shared a 10 Funniest Autocorrect FAILS on Facebook."" - Conversations in Hell"

"Croutons and cherry tomatoes are the natural enemies of the plastic fork."

"Our greatest fear is to die alone, which is why I intend to take quite a few people with me."

"A priest, black man, and a Jew walk into a bar And the bartender says ""What is this a joke?"""