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Joke of the Day

"My neighbor just walked by carrying some pots for planting & I said ""Looks like you won the pottery lottery!"" Now everyone is mad at me."

"Why did the chicken cross the road in Missouri? To show the opossum it could be done."

"How do you stop a baby from crawling round in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor."

"People shouldn't make rape jokes The laughter is usually forced."

"How are Americans and poles similar? Running into one could really ruin your day."

"You can't know a person well until you live with them. You can't know them really well until you divorce them."

"A shipment of wigs has been stolen Police are combing the area"

"Working in porn for the free sex is like working at Chipotle for the free burritos Yeah, you're getting paid, but it destroys your asshole"

"Did you know stuffing your bra with toilet paper works pretty well... except when it rains."

"Her: You like shopping? Me: Oh god yes! Her: What's your favorite place? Me: The grocery store. There is a whole aisle of just cheese!"