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Joke of the Day

"Why are there so many female archaeologists? Because women love digging up the past."

"9yr old poured milk on the cat. When I asked why he said ""He's thirsty and likes to lick himself."" I couldn't argue with that."

"Every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings. It's always the same angel. It's covered in wings now and wants to die but can't"

"Did you hear about the shooting at the Kanye West concert? It was awful, they missed..."

"Countdown is Dracula's retarded brother."

"Cheese & Milk Just as I was getting home last night a guy hit me with a block of cheese. I thought that wasn't very mature. He then ran over and pour milk all over my head. I thought HOW DAIRY!!!"

"Q: Why do rugby fans eat up the sport? A: Because it is 'scrum'-ptious."

"A termite walks into a bar... And asks the nearest person ""Hey, is the bar tender here?"""

"What have Margret Thatcher and Jimmy Saville got in common?(NSFW) They both fucked miners(minors) in the 1980s"

"What do a walrus and tupperware have in common? They're both looking for a tight seal."