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Joke of the Day

"I've been trying to sell my child to any house that will take her. I'm a daughter door salesman."

"What is the hardest part about puberty? (NSFW) My penis."

"I know this is only our second date, but can I use your bathroom real quick? Her: Of course... *walks out 26 minutes later* Thanks."

"10 ways to avoid clickbait! Well, that wasn't one of them.."

"I want to die in my sleep, like my grandpa did. and not screaming like the passengers in the backseat."

"I asked my wife for sex recently... She said, ""No, it's a super moon, not a blue one""."

"The itch from poison ivy is so bad that I just spent hundreds of dollars buying every possible cream and ointment at the pharmacy. I need to quit making rash decisions."

"Sorry, ladies; I've never had a period. Can't relate. Had a semicolon once, after being hit by a bus, so I feel like that was pretty close."

"Whoever invented work should have taugh it to masturbate so that it could do itself."

"How many Mexicans does it take to wax a car? 1 if you hit him just right"