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Joke of the Day
"I've been trying to sell my child to any house that will take her. I'm a daughter door salesman."
Next Joke
"what's the difference between Rosie O'Donnell and a stab wound? one is a fat and nasty unbearable gash,..... and the other is a fucking stab wound."
"Be a firefighter they said, Rescue kittens & throw them into fire they said, Youre misinformed they said, We're calling the police they said"
"My mom: I was thinking of getting my grandson a drum set for Christmas! Me: Funny. I was just thinking about getting a new mother."
"I used to think I could control ducks with my mind but it turns out ducks & I just have very similar ideas about what stuff ducks should do"
"Two deer were leaving a gay bar One said to the other, ""man, I can't believe a blew thirty bucks in their"""
"How many 2nd trumpets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They can't get that high! (My band teacher told me that one today)"
"What do you get when an Investment banker jumps off a cliff? A Con descending Altitude."
"was trimming my beard with my jumper today it was a **clothes** shave..."
"My current diet all ends with an S. Pizzas. Hamburgers. Tacos. Nachos. Everything that's in sights."