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Joke of the Day

"Today, a man looked me right in the face & said ""You're not hot!"" Actually it was a cop &he said ""Here's your ticket. Have a nice evening."""

"How many /r/news mods does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, but it only takes one to get it [removed]"

"What do American beer and sex in a canoe have in common? F***ing close to water!"

"DATE: *takes a sip of her water* ME: haha ok wow can you tone down the pda you're behaving very erotically"

"How do you know when it's raining cats and dogs... you step in a poodle"

"Why did the Red sea not find a good husband? because she was too shallow."

"A Slinky is a great way to teach young children that it's fun to push things down the stairs."

"Did you hear about the beaver who went to the bar but forgot his wallet because he'd just shape-shifted from another water mammal? He says to the bartender ""I must've left it in my otter pants."""

"Where do lobsters buy their work clothes? Homardware."

"What do you call a woman who can balance 5 pints of lager on each arm? Beatrix"