140775

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the beaver who went to the bar but forgot his wallet because he'd just shape-shifted from another water mammal? He says to the bartender ""I must've left it in my otter pants."""

Next Joke
 
"I heard my roommate jacking off once It wouldn't have been so awkward if he hadn't been standing right behind me."
"*sees girl at bar* Hey baby, wanna get outta here? ""Sure!"" Good, you're really killing the vibe."
"You know you are getting old when you have to scroll down, scroll down, and scroll down some more, to select the year you were born."
"My body is a temple But only because it hates Palestine. *Anthony Jeselnik*"
"I never really liked gravity... ... It's always bringing me down."
"BANG BANG! Q: Why did the mirror have holes in it? A: A moron kept trying to shoot himself."
"I never realized how overweight my thumbs were until I tried typing on an iPhone."
"How do you prevent 9/11? Make it a Malaysian airlines flight."
"[Computer Games] Enemy: Where have you learned aiming? Response: In programming course."