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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a woman who can balance 5 pints of lager on each arm? Beatrix"

"My friends think I have a black sense of humour I don't know what they're talking about... In my view it's golden."

"""Son, hey son"" Yeah dad? ""Know why we named you Adopted?"" *Sighs* Because I'm adop- ""BECAUSE YOU'RE ADOPTED"" Good one dad ""I'm not your dad"""

"The Boston Bruins had a good chance of beating the Leafs... ...but they totally bombed it."

"I used to think it was no big deal that my gums bled whenever I flossed, but I talked to my dentist about it and she said that it can actually be a bad sign. So now I never floss."

"How do you blind fold an asian? You put floss over their eyes!"

"Why don't oysters give to charity? Because they're shellfish."

"I'm hungry A boy walks up to his dad. ""Dad I'm hungry."" ""Hi hungry!"" ""Dad I'm serious."" ""I'm sorry serious, I thought you were hungry."" The boy then dies of hunger."

"What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees."

"A favorite at parties To a large group: ""What do you say to a man with a one inch penis?"" ""How's it going, [name of group member]?"""