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Joke of the Day
"I've never hated a neighbour enough to get wind chimes."
Next Joke
"Remember when we thought ""Any kid can grow up to be President"" was a good thing?"
"Why did the power go out when Optimus Prime got his first blow job? Someone blew a transformer."
"I like you but not save your life before a dog's life like you."
"Why are there no gay suicide bombers? They can find millions of virgins just by going on Reddit."
"FBI: If you testify you'll have to go into the Witness Protection Program ME: I'll do it FBI: Your wife and kids too ME: Oh ok never mind"
"Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."
"What did the Arab land his 747? The tarmac, you racist."
"Separation anxiety is common among toddlers, dogs, and would-be divorcees finding out how much divorcing costs."
"You could call a woman beautiful 100 times and she'll never remember it. But call her ugly once and she'll never forget it. You know why? Because an elephant never forgets."