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Joke of the Day
"Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said you were leaving at 4:00. Sincerely, The Unicorns"
Next Joke
"How did Mark Zuckerberg meet Miley Cyrus? Social net twerking"
"What's better than roses on a piano? Tulips on my organ."
"Roses are Red, Violets are blue...... who killed harambe? Cincinnati zoo"
"Sometimes when I'm sad, I'll go to the park and, from a distance, look thru my thumb and index finger and begin squishing people's heads..."
"Did you hear about the steak that had too much sodium put on it? It was assalted"
"Why was the scarecrow promoted? He was outstanding in his field."
"Teenager: Bae swag YOLO Me: In better times, people who spoke gibberish like that were burned as witches."
"""Is your refrigerator running?"" ""Hasn't decided yet,"" I say, winking at my refrigerator & hanging up. A ""FRIDGE 2016"" banner hangs above him"
"What are a fedora tipper's three favorite pokemon? M'chop M'choke M'champ"