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Joke of the Day

"What are a fedora tipper's three favorite pokemon? M'chop M'choke M'champ"

"I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people living above me are furious."

"I've put a hole in a bar of soap and I use it to masturbate. Normally I wouldn't share this kind of information, but I just have to cum clean."

"Wife: Don't you think the yard needs to be mowed? (from my recliner I check google maps satellite view of our house) Me: It looks fine to me"

"How did Luke Skywalker know what Darth Vader got him for Christmas? He felt his presents."

"A kaddish is a hymn of praises to God found in a Jewish prayer service. What is its Muslim equivalent? A kaboom!"

"I lost an ibuprofen under my dresser a week ago and now I'm worried the spiders are coming after me with no headaches and renewed vigor."

"What did Ned Stark say when his daughter told him that she was pregnant? Are ya?"

"People in public restrooms don't really like playing Peek-a-boo, apparently."

"I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem."