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Joke of the Day

"I once knew a guy... I once knew a man who gave up smoking, drinking alcohol, eating rich food and sex. He lived healthy until he killed himself."

"Q: What's green and has wheels? A: Grass. I lied about the wheels."

"Why is almond milk called almond milk? Because nobody would drink it if it was called nut juice."

"I just got a new Sony P station, It had split-stream, so I just ended up messing the toilet seat."

"Have you heard about the Butchers 420 Dodgeball Classic? It's a high steaks game."

"Pokemon Go has taught us that there's a disturbing number of dead bodies just laying around everywhere"

"[doctor walks in] there's no easy way to say this. you have [looks at clipboard] cat...cat erects? cat or racks? Sorry. I'm new."

"When a chemist says you're gold...... ......it just means you're easily replaceable"

"Light beer is like having sex in a canoe... It's fucking close to water"

"Why did the Buddhist photographer fail at taking pictures? Bad cam'ra"