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Joke of the Day

"""Son, do you know why we named you Easter Bunny?"" *sigh* ""Because you don't b-"" ""BECAUSE WE DON'T BELIEVE IN YOU"""

"Hotel beds are often all the proof I need that Satan owns a mattress factory."

"I wish I was half excited about anything as a four year old is to push an elevator button."

"What did the Nazi boy say to his sweetheart? I reich you."

"The invention of the wheel started a revolution"

"Why is sleeping the second most favorite activity of people's lives? Because it follows their first favorite activity, sex."

"[Jesus plays hide-n-seek] Jesus: [exiting cave] Ah, ya found me! Let's play again. Harder this time. Find me now. [He ascends to Heaven]"

"I just bought a new pair of sunglasses for whoever finds them in 3 weeks."

"Haters gonna hate Alligators gonna alligate Waiters gonna wait Jet Fuel can't melt steel beams Potatoes gonna potate"

"What do you call a little Lannister when winter finally comes? Peter Shrinklage"