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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a little Lannister when winter finally comes? Peter Shrinklage"
Next Joke
"Today at school, my teacher said I needed to stop doing my impression of a Flamingo That's when I had to put my foot down. EDIT: some shit"
"Morse code is like taking a shower with black guys and asian Long short long long long short long short short"
"What's the difference between America and a yogurt? If you leave a yogurt alone for 200 years, it WILL develop a culture ;-)"
"I hate Cinco De Mayo! -Said no Juan ever"
"Parents: don't give your child the answers to his homework. He needs to learn on his own that you don't know what you're talking about."
"A subject and verb walk into a bar... They have a disagreement. They walks out."
"I'm not an alcoholic I just have a lot of things to celebrate."
"Me: I LOVE Pokemon Go! Him: Are you just collecting caterpillars and putting them in your purse?! Me:"
"Having an elliptical in my living room has improved my health. Moving it out of the way when I lay down to watch TV burns like 25 calories"