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Joke of the Day

"What did the Nazi boy say to his sweetheart? I reich you."

"I used to be indecisive but now I'm not so sure"

"I was in the supermarket and I thought I saw my name on a loaf of bread. I looked again and it said ""thick cut""."

"I have just completed knitting a tiny sweater for my one true friend, who is a grape."

"TIL if Steve Irwin had worn sunscreen that fateful day, he would have survived. Apparently it protects against harmful rays."

"I don't want to sound too impressive, but my Sims character gets laid PRETTY FREQUENTLY."

"Did you know that the 16th presidency had the best records kept? I think they were called the Lincoln Logs."

"There are no atheists in parking lots where you've dropped your phone face down on the asphalt."

"After my wife died, I haven't been able to look at other women for 10 years... But now that I'm out of prison I can honestly say that it was worth it."

"Yo mamma's so fat... The reserve bank bailed her out, cause she was too big to fail."