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Joke of the Day
"Whats the worst thing to hear when you have explosive diarrhea? ""Are you ticklish?"""
Next Joke
"I just got a part in the movie Cocaine It only has one line."
"Me: I want to do unspeakable things to you. Her: Tell me... Me: Do you know what unspeakable means Lydia?"
"I failed stats because i have no faith in myself.. I couldn't find anything more than a 0% confidence interval."
"What's the best thing about dating a homeless girl? You can drop her off anywhere."
"[at a wedding] *bridesmaids walk to stage* 5 year old: Does he get to pick?"
"What does E.T. stand for? Freedom of speech"
"Why do hipsters drink coffee so quickly? They want to finish before it's cool."
"- Hey babe, do you like how I did my makeup? - Yes and if you want I can go and kill Batman with you."
"It's really crazy that you don't hear a round of applause every time you order a salad."