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Joke of the Day

"Me: I want to do unspeakable things to you. Her: Tell me... Me: Do you know what unspeakable means Lydia?"

"Drinking light beer is like having sex in a canoe.. Fucking close to fresh water"

"A guy won the lottery and bought a lot of weed, His name was Jack. He became known as Jack-pot."

"It's hard to stop being depressed Because gravity is always bringing me down."

"Every trip to the supermarket is a game of ""Dodge The Indecisive Old People With My Cart."""

"Boy: What's the biggest ant in the world? Girl: My Aunt Boy: No it's an elephant. Girl: You obviously haven't met my Aunt"

"Wanna see a banana split? Wait until it turns black and tell it he's the father."

"I ate a gluten-free lactose-free low carb pizza for dinner tonight. (It was a raw tomato)"

"At this point you can get more Gas for your $5 bill at a Taco Bell than you can at a Shell Station"

"What's the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same."