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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you play Uno with Mexicans? They steal the green cards."

"Somebody asked Hillary Clinton if she would be going to see 13 hours... She said no, she had already slept through that one."

"So North Korea's Kim Jong-Un executes it's defense chief with an anti-aircraft gun. I bet he took a lot of flak for that."

"[camping] ""Dad I'm afraid a raccoon is gonna come in my tent and eat me"" -don't be silly. It'll probably be a bear. Sleep tight."

"Just finished watching that Documentary on the invention of the shovel... Ground Breaking Stuff."

"History doesn't repeat, it rhymes That's why World War 3 will be started by Schmitler"

"It's Saturday.. Turning my give-a-crap-o' meter down... "

"*eats way too much delicious space pudding* Me: Oof I am STUFFED! What'd you call this again? Alien Chef: OH MY GOD YOU ATE MY GRANDMOTHER!"

"You can't fix stupid but you can divorce it"

"How do you measure how funny an electrical engineer is? You use an o-silly-scope!"