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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Chinese woman with one leg? Irene."

"I tossed a quarter at my girlfriend... ""Ouch, that hit me in the head!"" I look back and reply, ""good, maybe that'll knock some cents into you"" I'll see myself out."

"My spirit animal is this 9 yo, so calm and polite during girl sleepover drama, who just told me ""literally, nothing is interesting to me""."

"I went to look at tents today. But I didn't buy one. There was nothing before them, there was no pre-tents."

"NARRATOR: When camping be wary of savage bears trying to take your food *camera pans to a bear holding glass of wine with a wtf expression"

"What kind of car does Jesus drive? A Christler. Oh no. Wait.. He drove a Honda. But he didn't like talking about it. John 12:49 : > For I did not speak of my own Accord."

"When a chemist says you're gold...... ......it just means you're easily replaceable"

"Restaurants drastically overestimate how much I care about which wood they smoke my bacon over."

"Fun game: Take pictures with your camera sound turned up when someone comes into the bathroom stall next to yours"

"How to know you're a Redneck When you look at your sister and think ""I'd bang her""."